What to say to someone who is a fan of Tory MP Lee Anderson – a conversation guide

author avatar by 1 year ago

Since his promotion to Tory party deputy chairman, Lee Anderson has become the Tory party’s favourite new culture warrior, always reliably light on policy, and heavy on culture-based rhetoric; Lee can always be relied upon to say the stupid yet populist things, so the career Tories don’t have to.

So what can you say when you find yourself in conversation with one of Lee Anderson’s supporters? It’s certainly a challenge, but our guide below will provide some conversation starters to get you on your way:

  • Oh yes, of all the desperately ill-informed red-wall Tories, he’s definitely the loudest.
  • I thought 30p was overly generous; if you’re willing to batch cook 5,000 meals at a time, you can get the unit cost down to 28p.
  • We’ve had thirteen years of Tory failure with their attempts at “policies”, “economic management”, and “fiscal control”, it’s time we let the guys who blame everything on poor people and immigrants have a go.
  • Lee is a shining example to every below-average intelligence pub bore in the country. Dream big, pissy-pants Pete, dream big.
  • We are so lucky Labour suspended him five years ago for his anti-social behaviour; without that indiscretion, the Tories might never have got him.
  • Lee’s death penalty plans are entirely flawless, and have been proven to definitely work, if you ignore all the places where the death penalty doesn’t work.
  • Lee had the right idea with the Remainer bloke, if you can’t win an argument against someone on its merits, offer to fight them.
  • As we enter the culture war, Lee is very much our Achilles. Except his only weakness isn’t attached to his heel, it’s between his ears.
  • Woke. Vegan. Migrant boats. Lefties. Socialism. Send ’em back. Death Penalty. Did I miss anything?
  • Lee’s move from Labour to the Tories was hugely significant. I haven’t seen such an influential transfer from one side to the other since Eric Cantona left Leeds for Man Utd.
  • I completely agree; if you distilled the Tory party down to its very essence, and turned it into a middle-aged white man, it would be Lee Anderson.

30p Lee, the six-bob knob – get the T-shirt here!