Prime minister Rishi Sunak is now the proud owner of not one, but two fixed penalty notices for breaking the law. It is only a matter of time before he secures his hat trick, but what infraction will bring him the third fine?
We’ve taken a look at the laws of the land, and these are the top five laws we think Rishi will break next.
1. Failing to pick up dog poo. Let’s be honest here, rich people don’t pick up dog poo. And Rishi is very rich. And he has kids who will probably want a dog, so there will come a point where he’s out with a dog, hoping for a family-friendly photo opportunity, and the dog will lay some pipe Rishi won’t fancy it. Though he does strike us as the type who would pay for one of those awful ‘dog nappy’ contraptions.
2. Littering. Given the rate at which he disposed of his predecessor’s policies, Rishi is no stranger to throwing things away the moment they are no longer useful to him. Liz Truss’ dreadful vision for the country was (thankfully) discarded more easily than a burger wrapper, but Rishi now has a taste for chucking things away without a care in the world. We’d put money on it being a tabloid newspaper thrown out of the window of his Bentley. Or maybe a printout of the latest Westminster voting intention poll numbers.
3. Fly-tipping. The Downing Street flat had three occupants this year, so there are bound to be entire boxes of crap left behind by the Johnsons and the Truss’ after them. Forwarding possessions to previous occupants of a property is such a hassle, so why not just pop it in the back of the car and leave it all in a lay-by on the A30? I’m sure it’s crossed Rishi’s mind already.
4. Trespassing on a railway. “Why would Rishi be on a railway?” I hear you ask. But clearly this is a man who will put himself in any dreadfully awkward situation for a photo opportunity, and all it takes is for someone to “accidentally” let slip within his earshot that “walking along the railway” is something normal people do, he’d be climbing that fence quicker than he googled “how to use a contactless payment card”.
5. Letting off fireworks. If there is one thing you do not associate with Rish Sunak, it’s “danger”. He carries with him all the excitement of a retired librarian. That’s an image he’ll probably want to address before the next election, and what better way to show your dangerous side than to wave a sparkler around while on the steps of 10 Downing Street? Oops. That’s a £90 fine, Rishi.