The England football team has unveiled a new look in support of the OneLove campaign, with a gesture that does not fall foul of Article 13.8.1 of the Fifa equipment regulations and will therefore not attract any on-field sanctions.
Each member of the team will dye their hair a different colour of the rainbow flag in support of LGBTQ+ supporters around the world, now that the threat of a yellow card has been removed.
Team captain Harry Kane told us, “We obviously wanted to support the OneLove campaign, but a yellow card is simply too high a price to pay to protest against a backwards regime that still considers homosexuality to be illegal, and which can still give the death penalty to gay men.
“But there is nothing in the FIFA regulations about haircuts, and so that’s the direction we’ve taken. We will line up before the game against the USA on Friday with our hair dyed in support of the OneLove campaign.
“There is nothing in the rules to say we can’t do it, and it was only the rules that prevented us doing something for the first game, so of course we’re willing to do this.
“It was a good team building exercise, too. Giving Raheem white hair was quite funny, and Declan spent an hour getting his hair dyed black only to look exactly the same.
“Some of our more image-conscious players weren’t that keen at first, especially those that spend a bit too long in the mirror.
“It’s the only time Jack Grealish has ever been pleased to be sitting on the bench.”