That’s a hell of a lot of bottles you’ve got there, say bin men

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Local bin men are looking at your house with a new-found mix of respect and fear over just how many bottles there are in your green bin after New Year.

Council refuse collectors, who usually reckon they’ve seen it all, have admitted to approaching your home with trepidation at just how much they’re going to have to carry.

“Are you sure everything is okay?”, asked bin man Simon Williams. “I mean, I know it was New Year but, well, wow.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but me and the lads down at the depot call your glass recycling bin the crate of shame.

“What you could have done, right, is all sneak out the night before collections and dump all your bottles at the house belonging to the family with two toddlers down the road. We’d have no problem believing that.”

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