Wednesday 7 November 2018

Donald Trump denies Republicans ever ran for any House seats


Trump celebrates incredible mid-term results

Donald Trump has denied that his Republican party were beaten in a race to control the House of Representatives, calling claims they even fielded any candidates ‘fake news’.

Trump took to Twitter to hail a wonderful night for the GOP, insisting they had won every race they had entered, and that the fake news media’s claims of a 9% popular vote margin for the Democrats should be considered nothing but liberal lies.

“Great night folks!” Trump told his Twitter followers.

“We have won every single race we entered, and so a big thank you to all Americans for voting for me, even though I wasn’t on any ballot, because we all know you were only voting because of me.

“And you voted for me in record numbers because I’m doing such a great job. On all of the things. The failing media will try and tell you that the Democrats made huge gains, but that’s not true, because they only acquired seats where we didn’t go up against them – we were too busy winning everywhere else.”

A White House spokesperson said there were already plans to release a commemorative coin celebrating the incredible victory secured by Donald Trump last night.

“So much winning,” explained spokesperson Chuck Williams.

“Our new coin will celebrate the incredible victory of our amazing President, who secure unprecedented success in last night’s mid-terms, making him by far the most popular first-term President of all time. He is single-handedly making America Great Again.

“Yes he is, shut up.”

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