Monday 14 May 2018 by Davywavy

Facebook showing you loads of Eurovision posts today

Facebook Eurovision

Facebook is demonstrating just how on the ball its algorithm is by showing you loads of Eurovision posts today, they have confirmed.

The Facebook algorithm, which struggles to show you things you want to see in the order you’ve said you want to see them, is a remarkable, high-tech solution which reckons you’ll be interested in things that were really relevant on Saturday night.

“It’s not so much artificial intelligence as artificial stupidity,” Facebook’s representatives told us.

“A colossal data collection and collation system which expends huge resources and energy to ensure you see things you’d have been interested in several days ago, whilst seeing precisely fuck all of what you’re interested in right now.

“That joke your friend made about the Hungarian entry forty-eight hours ago? We’re sure you’ll find it just as hilarious over your morning coffee today as you would have done then – if we’d let you see it.

“We’ll be adding a new capability over the next few months which will make sure you find out what President Trump said a week or two later, whilst continuing to ensure you never find out about your friend’s birthdays.

“We’re thinking of starting to charge for the service, by the way. It’ll be worth every penny.”

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