Facebook insists their terms and conditions grant permission to go through your bins

author avatar by 6 years ago

Facebook has denied that it went through users’ bins without consent, insisting that the consent was given when users agreed to the 79-page standard Facebook terms and conditions document.

Concerns were raised when a Sheffield woman – Eleanor Gay – discovered a Facebook intern in her backyard, next to an upturned bin, clutching pair of the Ms Gay’s worn-out, discarded knickers and saying – ‘Zuckerberg will give me a bonus for these’.

After making a complaint to the social media giant, she received a response directing her to page 34 of the standard Facebook terms and conditions, which reads: “Users consent to having their refuse examined by official Facebook refuse examiners or proxy drones operated by such, and to have any information gathered through such process be sold on to shitbag political chancers who seek to influence the democratic process for profit.”

“I genuinely don’t see what the problem is,” said Mark Zuckerberg, after the revelations.

“Even without reading the terms and conditions, surely it’s obvious that by utilising my platform to share pictures of what you had for dinner with your mum, you’d expect to find us going through your bins.

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“It’s just common sense.”

Social media analyst Simon Williams told us, “Bins can tell you a lot about a person, and can often contain extremely valuable targetting information.

“An unopened pack of pre-prepared salad, for example, tells us that you have often have good intentions, but that you rarely follow through, even after spending the money – that makes you extremely attractive to advertisers and political operatives. Yes, that means you.”

Mr Zuckerberg also took the time to reassure everyone that the platform hardly ever took surreptitious, compromising photos of users without their consent and would only ever seek to profit from those photos if he got really hard up.