Official statistics have revealed that you hardly ever see anyone telling jokes about how you hardly ever see white dog poo anymore.
According to the statistics, in the past twelve months, there was just one recorded instance of a joke made about hardly ever seeing dog poo anymore that was seen at a small open-mic night in Chelmsford Essex.
“It’s a shame really,” said Simon Williams, Professor of unusually coloured animal excrement at Oxford University.
“Time was, you couldn’t turn on the television without hearing an observational comedian observe, for comic effect, that you don’t see white dog poo anymore.
“Then they might go on an amusing flight of comic fantasy about how there was probably a Government department devoted to making sure the country’s dog poo was all of a uniform colour.
“If you were a quite trendy, left-wing alternative comedian, you might make reference to how the decline on white dog-poo was a victory for multi-cultural Britain, whereas if you were a more traditional comedian, you might have blamed the lack of white dog poo on some obscure European Common market directive.
“Sadly, it seems that, nowadays, people have forgotten the comic merits of white dog poo and just want to do jokes about menstruation and the latest success of Mrs Brown’s Boys.”
Happily, the statistics did reveal that jokes about how you hardly ever see people doing jokes about hardly ever seeing white dog poo are on the increase, with at least one confirmed sighting and several more rumoured.