Jeremy Hunt’s own mother genuinely baffled as to how he has kept his job

Jeremy Hunt has not only retained his role as Health Secretary but has managed to extend his remit to cover social care, much to the bemusement even of the people who actually like him.

Despite the NHS going through yet another entirely predictable crisis due to chronic underfunding, Jeremy Hunt has kept his job as Health Secretary as part of Theresa May’s New Year cabinet reshuffle.

Political analyst Simon Williams explained, “Jeremy Hunt staying on as health secretary might seem like a bit of a shock from the outside, but you have to look at it a bit more closely to understand what’s really going on.

“The thing is, people look at all the NHS’ issues, and the way Jeremy is running it, and they assume that under Hunt’s stewardship the NHS is doomed to fail. What they don’t realise is that it’s actually designed to fail.

“In reality he’s doing a brilliant job, when you consider that his actual job is making the NHS look crap and inefficient to prime the electorate for a future round of privatisation.”

“The fact he’s now got social care under his Health Secretary remit really tells me only one thing. The government wants to run that into the ground in time for privatisation, too.”

Jeremy Hunt himself was optimistic about his future in the role, but admitted surprise that he had survived the chop.

He told reporters outside number 10 Downing Street, “It’s not even like I’ve got an dirt on Theresa. She…she just seems to think I’m genuinely doing a good job.

“No, I don’t get it either.”