New Year’s resolution to start blog fails immediately

A man’s New Year resolution to start a blog had reportedly failed by 4pm on New Year’s day.

Simon Williams of Chelmsford, Essex had suggested that he would be starting a blog containing his ‘off-the-wall, sideways look at life’.

“Yeah, I’m always cracking people up,” Mr Williams was heard telling a girl at a Christmas party.

“You know, like I say ‘Tony B. Liar’ instead of Tony Blair and if someone drops something then I say ‘sack the juggler.’ I probably wouldn’t call myself a ‘comedian’ as such, I’ve just got an unusual and amusing take on things.”

Mr Williams continued on in this vein for some time despite the pained look on the girl’s face.

Come New Year ’s Day, Mr Williams was up early to start on his new blog and after 90 minutes of looking at pornography streaming sites, he began work.

By mid-afternoon, he had created ‘Bloggy McBlogface’ and began the first entry.

‘Hello, welcome to my blog. Here be all sorts of amusements and hilarities for your delectation. Blogs are weird, aren’t they? Because…’

At this point, unable to think of a good reason why blogs are weird, Mr Williams decamped to the sofa to watch the Bond film and finish off the Quality Street.

“Starting a blog was a stupid idea anyway,” he said later.

“I mean, blogs? Who reads blogs, anyway? No-one, that’s who.

“Besides, I’ve got a much better idea for a New Year’s resolution.

“I’m going to start a podcast, that’ll definitely be hilarious.”