Brexit vote will see Parliament given choice between terrible deal or even worse one

Brexit secretary David Davis has announced that there will be a parliamentary vote on the terms of the Brexit deal, giving MPs the choice between an awful deal, and an even worse one.

Davis told reporters that it was important that MPs are given the final decision on whether to accept the negotiated deal – or to leave the EU without one – so that he cannot be personally blamed for the inevitable shit-show that follows.

“The negotiations are extremely complex, but they are going well,” Davis told the press.

“But like any functioning democracy, the ultimate say on whether the nation accepts the negotiated deal will come down to our elected officials.

“Before March 2019, they will be given a free and democratic vote on whether to go with the truly awful deal I will have inevitably negotiated, or to go instead with the even worse option of leaving without any deal whatsoever.

“It will be their choice entirely, they will choose which direction the country goes in, not me – and you should all remember that when the recriminations start.”

Those voters who remain sceptical that Brexit will be good for the country have wondered if ‘Not leaving the EU’, might be an option when the parliamentary vote comes around.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” insisted Davis.

“Your options are very simply ‘in the shit’ or ‘something even more awful’ – ‘staying as we are’ is never, ever going to be an option. The people have spoken, and as such our MPs must chuck us off a cliff, or push us into the fire.

“Suggesting there is any other option is frankly absurd.”

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