New EU referendum demanded with 3rd option – ‘Brexit, but not organised by these clueless dicks’

author avatar by 6 years ago

There have been widespread calls for a second EU referendum that will include a third option alongside ‘Leave’ or ‘Remain’ which reads ‘Brexit, but not organised by these clueless dicks’.

The demands have grown louder as it becomes more and more apparent that the people in charge of negotiating our exit from the EU have the combined IQ of a potted plant.

“Yeah, I’m still broadly in favour of leaving the EU,” said Leave voter, Simon Williams.

“But I can’t help thinking that literally anyone in the country could make a better fist of the negotiations, including that bloke who sits in the park shouting ‘I’m Marjorie!’ at people as they walk past.

“So, I think a second referendum would be useful but just allow people to specify very clearly that we’d prefer someone faintly competent to handle negotiations.”

The Government refuses to countenance a second referendum as they think no one’s noticed that David Davis would struggle to negotiate his way out of an open door.

Eleanor Gay, who has proposed the new third option says she’s fully prepared to compromise on the wording of the third option.

“Oh yes,” she said.

“I’m happy to replace ‘clueless dicks’ with ‘hapless shits,’ ‘catastrophic f**ks,’ or ‘massive c**ts’.”