The UK and EU have announced that a significant breakthrough has been made in Brexit discussions after reaching an agreement on what crisps to serve at the October EU summit.
“We have agreed that the crisps served will be a French brand called Croustilles,” said Brexit secretary David Davis.
“But crucially, my EU colleagues will not mind if British delegates pop an opened bag of monster munch in their pocket and sneakily eat them when no one else is looking.
“Not the Pickled Onion flavour though, as they don’t really like the smell.”
Whilst the crisp agreement is only in place for the upcoming summit, it is hoped that it will prove to be a bedrock for all future Brexit summits.
The Daily Mail has hailed the decision as a decisive win for Britain with the provocative headline – ‘Britain’s finest hour – EU capitulates on pocket crisp demand’.
Brexit supporter Simon Williams was equally thrilled.
“This is bloody brilliant, this is exactly why I voted for Brexit – to make sure honest Brits aren’t forced eating euro-muck like Croustilles. Up yours Delors!”
Mr Davis confirmed that no progress had been made on the topics of an Irish border, ‘divorce’ payments, or the jurisdiction of the European Court.
“No, but…Monster Munch.”