As the polls open for the General Election, voters across the country are reminiscing about a simpler time when the worst conceivable outcome of an election was another five years of a Tory/Lib Dem coalition.
“That’s right, there was a time when people actually rioted because of the Lib Dems,” says Simon Williams, a normal person, shaking his head in disbelief that such an innocent time could exist.
“What I wouldn’t give to have David Cameron and Nick Clegg winning the election now and doing that embarrassing banter in the rose garden.
“Now the best we can hope for is the leftovers from Red Wedge.”
Eleanor Gay is another normal person who can’t believe it’s come to this.
“I voted Green last time. Can you believe that? Genuinely believing that smaller progressive parties could have an impact.”
Ms Gay is unsure what the worst that can happen this time is.
“Well, I mean, ostensibly, it’s Theresa May. But this is an electorate who thought that a David Cameron majority was a good idea, then went for Brexit. For all I know, they’ll vote for Robert Mugabe, or a wasp.
“Whatever happens, it won’t be good, that’s for sure.”