Paul Nuttall promises new series of Bottom

Paul Nuttall will create a new series of Bottom if UKIP gets elected.

The party leader, who apparently ISN’T Ade Edmondson just pissing about, made the announcement in an increasingly desperate string of promises that also included free pens, meals-on-wheels-provided-by-nurses-in-heels and bringing back slavery.

“And a new series of Bottom,” confirmed Nuttall.

“Not for any selfish reasons of my own or anything, after all I am Paul Nuttall, prospective MP, and not simply Ade Edmondson pissing about.

“Very under-rated actor, that man though. He should get cast in more stuff.

“We’re not yet sure who will fill the gap left behind by Rik Mayall. We were thinking of Godfrey Bloom. We won’t need much of a script, we’ll just film him doing the things he would normally do and then I’ll hit myself in the face with a frying pan every now and then.”

Local voter, Jay Cooper, said, “I’ll vote for him as long as I can hit him with a frying pan.”

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