Donald Trump and Snoop Dogg to settle it with epic rap battle

author avatar by 7 years ago

Donald Trump says he has been hiding his flow for forty years in preparation for this moment.

The Twitter spat between Snoop Dogg and Trump is to come to a head this weekend after the two agreed to settle it with rhyme on stage.

The fallout between the two is already being compared to the 1990s Death Row/ Bad Boy records feud after Dogg survived a drive-by attempt involving an eight-ton armoured limousine in a convoy of blacked-out SUVs, and mediators are pleased the duelling pair have agreed to settle their dispute peacefully.

Trump has already been tweeting some of his best rhymes to strike fear into the heart of the Dogg, including pairing “Sad!” with “Bad!” and “Failing!” with “Wailing!”, which experts say display at least a basic grasp of what is expected of him.

Rap expert Simon Wizzleiams told us that although Dogg might be seen as the favourite in such a battle, “that’s what they said about Hillary Clinton, so don’t write off Donald. Or the T-Rump, as he is now demanding to be called.

“However, at least this is better than when Ice-T called out Obama in rhyme and narrowly escaped a drone strike shortly after.”

Critics have suggested the President may be profiting from the event by insisting it be ticket-only event in the Trump Casino ballroom where he has the pay-per-view rights; an accusation described by Trump as “Lies by failing media/ don’t lissen to what they feedin ya/ ain’t no dis that trump’s got this, he’s the king, the crown, succeedin yeah.”