A man asked if he packed his bag himself before boarding his flight is suddenly worried he might have packed a bomb and some heroin by mistake.
33-year-old Simon Williams was confident that his bag contained nothing more innocuous than a snorkel and a tube of Factor 30 Ambre Solaire, but now he’s been asked he can’t help but worry he might have packed 8 kilos of brown and just not noticed at the time.
Simon, who has never owned any drugs, a bomb or a firearm in his life, suffered an awful jerk of concern that they might have found their way into his bag despite that.
“I mean, it’s possible, right?” he told us.
“I did pack my bag myself, I distinctly remember doing it, and not putting anything in there that I shouldn’t. But what if some terrorist put a bundle of sticks of dynamite in it when I wasn’t looking on the train?
“I don’t think I have anything to declare, but for all I know I’m actually a mule for a half-million quid’s worth of class A.
“What if they give me a cavity search? God, no amount of sun at Sharm El Sheikh is worth this.
“Oh, Jesus, what do I say? Perhaps it’s best if I just never go on holiday again.”
When he has successfully negotiated whether he packed his bag himself, Simon is expected to be reduced to an uncertain wreck again by the question ‘Have you anything to declare?’ despite the fact that he doesn’t.