NHS to introduce ‘One in, One out’ policy at Accident and Emergency

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has announced that the Accident and Emergency departments at UK hospitals will now operate the ‘one in, one out’ policy commonly used at busy nightclubs.

The move comes as patients in critical condition took to social media to complain about the queue to get served and a generally sweaty atmosphere at some of the country’s most popular hospitals.

The new policy will see private security from SEGA and G4S employed at hospital entrances to manage and assess queues.

Patients will be seen on a first come first served basis, with anyone expressing displeasure at the length of the queue being told: “it’s not your night”.

At a press briefing this morning, Mr Hunt explained, “As a result of our popular free transport options to Accident and Emergency, we are experiencing unprecedented crowds.

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“We are keen to ensure a pleasant and safe hospital experience for who wish to access A&E, meaning that numbers must be controlled – which is why we’ve looked to introduce best-practice from the private sector for ideas.

“The new ‘one in, one out’ policy will help to keep overcrowding down, and help people get served faster. As long as their name is on the list, obviously.”

The move has been welcomed by BUPA members who receive queue jumping privileges and an automatic guest-list, while also being eligible for VIP wards in which to be healed into the small hours of the morning.