Brexiter absolutely convinced he could negotiate better Brexit deal than government

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46-year-old Brexit voter Simon Williams remains utterly convinced he could negotiate a better Brexit deal than the current government after learning of a potential £50bn ‘divorce’ settlement for outstanding liabilities.

The potential £50bn bill is to settle ongoing liabilities that the British government has agreed to contribute to while it was inside the EU, though Williams says they should tell the EU to ‘shove it’.

He explained, “This is just like that time when Pizza Hut put that tip on my bill – I wasn’t having any of that. I told them to shove it, and so that’s what they did. End of story.

“They’re just trying to pull a fast one by slipping £50bn at the end of the bill in the hope we’ll just pay it.

“But they can’t make you pay it, I looked it up; it’s the law. Not the law according to ‘experts’, the law according to my mate Dave in the pub.”

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Williams went on to explain that Brexit is a lot like when he got divorced.

“Yeah, I just refused to contribute to the mortgage I’d happily signed up to a few years before and we lost the house. I now live in a rented bedsit and the missus had to move back in with her parents.  Win-win.

“So if they want any tips, give me a ring on the mobile.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt