Hurricane Matthew takes unexpected lead in US presidential race
10 years ago
American voters are expressing a clear preference for a violently destructive storm over either of the other presidential candidates, according to polls today.
Hurricane Matthew is a late entry to the race, having only thrown its hat into the ring – plus a cow, several houses and half a million tons of seawater – late last night.
However, snap polls show that it already scores higher than either Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump on key metrics like integrity, honesty and economic credibility.
When told that a Hurricane Matthew administration would leave a trail of destruction and economic catastrophe in its wake that would take years to fix, most voters looked at Clinton and Trump and said, “And…?”
Floridian Simon-Bob Williams told us that he had been torn between Trump and Clinton over which of them was ‘least worst’, and the entry of Hurricane Matthew into the race was like a breath of fresh air.
“I’m a floating voter – literally at the moment – and I’m now backing Hurricane Matthew.”
“Sure, Hurricane Matthew spouts a lot of hot air, but that’s usual for politicians. Its policy of violent, wild direction swings and seemingly random attacks is no worse than what I’ve seen from Donald Trump.”
“And even better, it isn’t on Twitter.”
Reports from the Clinton camp say that Bill Clinton is planning a snap visit to Florida after hearing that it was being ‘violently blown’, and that nobody has the heart to correct him.
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