A man who waved an EU flag during Land of Hope and Glory during Last Night of the Proms is to face charges of treason.
“Treason? But all I did was wave a flag,” whined disgraceful traitor to the British way of life, Simon Williams.
“I wanted to show that many people still believe in the principles and ideals of a united Europe, and that despite everything, many of us still consider ourselves as ‘European’, rather than just British.”
However, what the treacherous Euro-lover didn’t realise was that Theresa May had rushed through a post-Brexit law making belief in the principles and ideals of a united Europe a treasonous offence with a potential for the death penalty.
With Williams not only holding such beliefs, but openly flaunting them on the most British night of the year, it seems likely that he will receive the strongest possible punishment.
Throughout the land, true British patriots, outraged by Williams’ weasely behaviour, strongly supported the calls for the death penalty.
“Bally outrage,” said Lord Timothy Arsebutterer IV.
“I was stood proud and erect, saluting the Queen as Land of Hope and Glory rang throughout my castle, when all of a sudden, this blighter with an EU flag pops up on the screen – bold as brass he was!
“If I’d have been there, he’d have bally well got a bayonet up his arse.”
Williams’ will face trial in October and his inevitable punishment of death by hanging will take place in November and be screened live on Channel 5.