Ryanair flight departs on time

In a stunning development today, a Ryanair flight has boarded promptly and departed on time.

The flight, scheduled to depart at 08:20 to Malaga, actually left for Malaga at 08:20, leaving many customers stranded as they expected it to be at least two hours late.

In a further dramatic twist, all the luggage was loaded and will arrive with its owners at the destination rather than being sent to Turin as is normal.

The development left passengers shocked and disturbed, with several reported to have needed counselling to deal with Post Traumatic Stress.

Ryanair customer Simon Williams told us he’d just got out the sleeping bags and opened his thermos ready for a long wait when the flight boarded.

“Nobody could properly believe it. I had to rush to take the tent down”, he told us.

“My kids were distraught as they’d just settled down to watch the complete Peppa Pig on the concourse. I’d told them we’d got plenty of time – hours, or maybe days.

“This sort of disruption to our plans by leaving when they said they would is completely unacceptable and we’ll be seeking compensation.”

Ryanair apologised for their unexpected promptness, which they blamed on a lack of technical issues and a full complement of flight crew.

To compensate customers, the return flight will be at least twice as late at usual, a spokesman said.

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