EU reform package contains proposal to decriminalise Porcine Necrophilia

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Having sexual relations with dead pigs will no longer be illegal, according to a leaked proposal in the new EU reform package negotiated by David Cameron.

With the draft proposal now circulating for review, experts have been surprised by the late addition towards the end of the document.

Political analyst, Simon Williams explained, “It seems David Cameron has negotiated the right to have sex with dead pigs throughout the EU, including the purging of all historic cases that might be brought before any European court.”

“I’m not sure it will be a big part of the ‘In’ referendum campaign, but I suppose it will be popular amongst the niche pig-fucker vote.”

EU staffer Helmut Berglund explained that the inclusion of the porcine necrophilia clause was a key part of the behind closed doors negotiations.

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He explained, “Apparently it is important to the people of Britain that economic migrants have no access to benefits, that they have greater veto powers on new European-wide laws, and that fucking a dead pig is no longer be frowned upon.

“He was most insistent on that last one.

“It was an easy give to be honest, as long as the pigs were reared in the EU. Though we did subsequently remove the hog roast from that night’s menu.”