Hermione Granger dumps Ron Weasley for muggle Prince

author avatar by 9 years ago

In a major shock to the wizarding world, Auror Hermione Granger has left Ron Weasley for a muggle Prince.

Granger, who was instrumental in the downfall of he-who-should-not-be-named, was reported to be very happy with Ron Weasley, but clearly she has a bit of a thing for gingers and the chance to trade up was too good to miss.

It is not yet certain whether the Prince has any magical powers, although photographs from the muggle city of Las Vegas in 2012 suggest he has an exceptionally large wand which he has used to enchant women before.

However, some are unconvinced that the new relationship will last, pointing out that the Prince’s father looks like Dobby the House Elf and she won’t want to hang round long enough for that to happen to him as well.

Ron Weasley is reported to be inconsolable at her desertion, and has been overheard muttering something about ‘Horcrux’, or something which sounded very similar anyway.

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Colin Creavey, reporter for the Daily Prophet, said “Let’s face it, the Prince is called Harry. This is clearly displacement activity.”

“We all know what’s really going on here”, he added, with a knowing wink.

Harry Potter was unavailable for comment on claims he is having an affair with Princess Eu-Ginnie.