Friday 3 October 2014 by Neil Tollfree

Wonga to close ‘missed repayment’ dungeons

Payday lender Wonga is to close its ‘missed repayment’ dungeons in Watford, Newcastle, and Birmingham after an FCA Code of Conduct review.

The dungeons, used to punish its customers who failed keep up repayments on their loans have been in operation since 2008.

“This is a voluntary action after it was brought to our attention that keeping our customers in dungeons may go against the FCA code of conduct for payday loan companies,” said Wonga representative Mark Hammond, before vanishing in a cloud of sulphur.

The dungeons were used primarily for the containment of anyone who missed more than one monthly repayment.

“Yeah, I spent two weeks in a Wonga dungeon,” said Wonga customer Simon Williams.

“I borrowed a fiver to get some cheese for the kids.”

“But a month later, what with the interest and that, I owed seven hundred quid. Well, I’d done me benefit on the Sky bill so they chained me to the wall.”

Wonga policy change

Other Wonga customers were less philosophical.

“I know I owed them money and everything,” said Elizabeth Heaton from Yorkshire, “but waterboarding me was really unfair.”

Birmingham councillor Nick Rowe had mixed feelings.

“Well, say what you like about the morality of the dungeons, but they were a great source of jobs in the area.”

“It’s a sad day for hard-working Birmingham torturers and dungeon-keepers.”

Wonga would like to make it clear that they still offer small loans at a staggeringly high rate of interest and are fully prepared to smash up your kneecaps if you don’t keep up repayments.

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