Arseholes should be able to foster kids too, insists Gove

Someone being a bit of a prick, shouldn’t stop them being foster parents, according to education secretary Michael Gove.

After a Rotherham couple who happened to be members of UKIP had foster children removed from their care, Gove insisted that stopping arseholes looking after kids would leave the country in dire trouble.

He told reporters, “Let’s be honest here. Everyone is a bit of a prick on the inside, so if we focus on the worst parts of people’s personality then of course they’re not going to look like they’re fit to look after children.”

“I mean, supporters of a party who oppose immigration, looking after immigrant children – that might on the surface look a bit strange, but not if you look at them being paid to do a job.”

“I’m sure they are happy to overlook their prejudices in return for a weekly pay packet.”

UKIP foster parents

The Rotherham foster couple have found support from all quarters, including all sides of the political spectrum.

Foster parent Michael Williams told us, “I fully support those UKIP folks, absolutely. I’m a thoroughly contemptible human being, but I passed a CRB check so I’ll look after as many kids as you like. For a price.”

“If I happen to force my deeply held opinions on a few of them along the way – especially opinions that most of the country finds abhorrent – then so be it.”

“After all, the world doesn’t have enough Chelsea fans.”