Actor Brad Pitt has sparked pity around the world after claiming that the demise of $10m deals for hollywood actors has seen a series of belt-tightening measures amongst the entertainment industry’s elite.
Pitt told reporters that the global economic situation meant that Hollywood studios simply cannot sustain salaries at previous levels.
He said, “We have to cut our cloth accordingly, and right now both Angie and I are playing more make-believe than we did a few years ago.”
“I hear people talking about second jobs, and I know how they feel. I had to make THREE movies last year just to make ends meet.”
“Make the ends of our new mansion meet, I mean.”
“But we have no choice, the $10m movie deals simply aren’t there any more, which means we have to pretend to be someone else for a few weeks two or three times a year in order to make the same money.”
Pitt was supported by other acting professionals, with one unnamed Los Angeles resider explaining, “Nowhere else in the world has a profession seen its income slashed by such drastic amounts.”
“We should go on strike.”
However film fans were surprised at that sentiment, telling us, “Oh no, what would we do if pretty people didn’t pretend to be other people on that big screen in front of us?”
“Wherever else could I spend £15 on a ticket whilst paying for popcorn that’s priced as if it was cooked by the Duchess of Cambridge herself?”