International community to consider stopping Assad killing Syrians on purpose by allowing America to do it by accident

An international conference being held in Tunisia that is seeking a breakthrough in the Syrian unrest may look to military action that could see innocent people killed entirely by accident, instead of on purpose.

With America fast becoming the military equivalent of Frank Spencer, critics fear that any use of force would result in roughly the same amount of innocent people being killed as are currently dying under the regime of President Bashar al Assad.

US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she wanted to see progress on providing humanitarian relief, increasing pressure on the regime and preparing for a democratic transition of power before she stepped over a banana skin and fell down an open manhole.

The UK Prime Minister David Cameron said it was vital that the international community came together on Syria and set in motion a series of missile related gaffes that would result in a number of unreserved apologies being issued.

Syria intervention

The “Friends of Syria” conference will be attended by around 70 nations with differing military capabilities ranging from “sorry” right up to “deeply regrettable incident”.

Syrians caught in Assad’s stranglehold have urged the international community to intervene in the hope that if they are killed it is seen as a tragic accident, rather than a brutal massacre.

“We urge the world to help us,” said Ashur Rashid, who is a resident of the city of Homs.

“People are being murdered every day by Assad’s regime when they could be being killed by wayward missiles.”

“Free us from this violent oppression and make us collateral damage,” he pleaded.

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