Thursday 20 October 2011 by Spacey

Westlife already planning lucrative reunion tour

After revealing that they intend to split up in 2012, boy band Westlife have announced plans for a lucrative reunion tour that will take place once their solo careers have died on their arses.

Westlife, who are made up of some men whose names escape us, announced plans for a farewell tour following yet another greatest hits compilation that will be virtually identical to the last one, but the cover shot will show them holding their jackets at a different angle.

“We’re really excited about the prospect of splitting up and then reforming again a few years down the line,” revealed the one that looks a bit like a bloke who cleared my guttering last month.

“When we reform It will be like it was when we first got together,” revealed one of the other ones.

“We won’t be able to wait to get back and start working on someone else’s new material.”

“We might even include the fat one who left years ago to go solo, it would be nice to make us a five piece again – yes, of course I’m still talking about Westlife.”

Westlife split

The band, who are best known for sitting on stools a lot, revealed that the split is entirely amicable and the reunion will be just like it was meant to happen.

“Our fans are like our family, insomuch as we try and avoid contact with them unless they’re giving us money.”

“This album and tour is for them.”

“The greatest hits album and comeback tour will be for them also, but mostly for us.”

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