Website left completely unprepared for mild popularity attack

author avatar by 15 years ago

Semi-popular news satire site, NewsArse, was taken off the Internet last night after its owners were left completely bemused by its apparently growing popularity.

At approximately 7:30 on Wednesday evening, the web hosts for NewsArse finally became tired of serving pages to readers hungry for mordacious satirical news coverage, and turned it off.

The web hosts told reporters, “Look, they told us that hardly anyone would be reading this crap, so we gave them a really good deal.”

“They said, ‘it’ll just be a few friends, and our mums – if they can learn how to use a computer’ – well let me tell you, they lied!”

“Those bastards went and developed an bloody audience, didn’t they.  A quarter of million of them this month alone!”

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“So we pulled the plug until they gave us a substantial amount of money, which they finally did, this morning.”


With normal service resumed, the NewsArse team were keen to apologise and set the record straight for the readers.

“We realise this is our fault.  If we had written less amusing, socially aware, topical satire, then none of this would have happened.” said a NewsArse spokesperson.

“We had no reason to believe so many of you would actually enjoy this drivel.”

“But we have now taken steps to ensure this never happens again, and trust us, it won’t.”

“Unless each of you brings five friends onto the site, in which case we’re fucked again.”

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