Friday 15 December 2017 by Chris Ballard

Theresa May to raise Brexit funds by releasing Christmas album


Theresa May Christmas album

The Prime Minister has recorded a Brexit-themed festive album in an attempt to raise funds for the UK’s EU divorce bill.

The PR stunt is also designed to improve the mood of the nation after a series of Brexit cock-ups, misinformation and negotiating incompetence.

A Tory spokesman said, “Brexit’s turning out to be bloody expensive so we’re taking a leaf out of Bob Geldof’s book and raising money via a hastily recorded seasonal record.

“Also, even people who voted for Brexit are apparently starting to think that leaving the EU might not be the best idea after all, which is far from ideal. So to cheer everyone up we’re releasing an album of jaunty, feel-good songs about how great Brexit is.

“Yes, we’ve basically taken a number of well known Christmas songs and shoe-horned ‘Brexit’ into the lyrics. We don’t think the electorate will notice though – they’re generally not very bright and we’re very good at pulling the wool over their eyes.”

Mrs May sings lead on most of the tracks with backing vocals provided by the Maybots: Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-Mogg and David Davis.

The album will be called ‘A Brexit Gift for You’ and the full tracklisting is as follows:

  • I Wish it Could Be Brexit Everyday
  • White Brexit (lead vocal: Boris Johnson)
  • Driving Home for Brexit
  • Brexit Blunderland (lead vocal: David Davis)
  • Brexit is Coming to Town
  • Do They Know it’s Brexit?
  • Brexit Island
  • Last Brexit
  • Little Brexit Boy
  • Thank God it’s Brexit (lead vocal: Jacob Rees-Mogg)
  • Have Yourself a Merry Little Brexit
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