US President Donald Trump has ordered urgent mass-gatherings across America this morning, after it emerged that the US is likely to have far more ventilators than it requires during the current coronavirus pandemic.
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Global villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld yesterday expressed grudging admiration for the Coronavirus epidemic and admitted: “I wish I’d thought of it.”
Billionaire Scrooge McDuck has denied hoarding in a time of crisis, and instead insisted that he is putting his vast resources to work to help the country through the difficulties it currently faces.
This evening at 8pm Americans across the US will unite in celebration of the people who might get to make life and death decisions on their behalf in the next few weeks.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
