World

NRA suggests shootings in places of worship would be prevented by arming God

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“If Jesus had an AR-15, there’s no way he would have been crucified”, gun advocacy group the National Rifle Association has declared today.

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Good guy with a gun fails to prevent 3,095th successive mass shooting

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America is beginning to wonder precisely when a good guy with a gun is actually going to prevent a mass shooting.

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Now still not the time to talk about gun control

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Nope, it’s still not the time to talk about gun control, we can confirm.

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Trump slams kettle for being black

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Dystopian President of the United States Donald Trump yesterday criticised, in the strongest possible terms, the kettle for being black.

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Explosive package sent to Clintons turn out to be Bill’s Viagra

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Bill Clinton’s viagra delivery has sent the security services into a frenzy.

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American Huntress awarded medal of honour after bravely gunning down unarmed Scottish goat

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A TV presenter has been awarded America’s highest accolade for bravery after courageously shooting a tiny goat in Scotland.

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FBI baffled as to what could have motivated bomb maker to target Clintons, Obama, Soros and CNN

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The Federal Bureau of Investigations has this afternoon admitted they are baffled by the seemingly random bombs recently sent to four prominent public figures and organisations across America.

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“This is a ridiculous cover-up which I was defending just a few days ago” confirms Trump

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President Trump has finally admitted to the defence of a stupid concept.

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Lady Macbeth’s account of the death of King Duncan is ‘credible and believable’ insists Donald Trump

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The death of King Duncan of Scotland at the hands of a pair of rogue servants is an entirely believable story and the matter should be closed there, the US Government has confirmed today.

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Saudis insist first rule of Saudi consulate Fight Club is that no one talks about Saudi consulate Fight Club

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Saudi Arabia has claimed that murdered journalist, Jamal Khashoggi, died in a legitimate, bare-knuckle fist fight with a group of like-minded men who enjoy letting off steam.

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