World

Barron Trump grounded after pranking his Dad about impeached Presidents being strung up from a tree

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13-year-old Barron Trump has been grounded indefinitely after phoning his Dad at work to tell him that all impeached Presidents get strung up from the nearest tree.

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Mark Zuckerberg insists Facebook is 100% against Fake News, unless it comes from the most powerful people on the planet

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Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg gave a speech yesterday in which he reiterated his company’s mission to fight fake news in all its forms, unless it is published by the people who run every country in the world.

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Extinction Rebellion protestors won’t be happy until every single Londoner hates them

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Climate protesters in central London have confirmed they won’t be happy until they’ve made every single Londoner late for work and everyone hates them.

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Scotland threaten legal action against World Rugby for being forced to humiliate themselves against Japan

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The Scottish Rugby Union has threatened legal action against World Rugby after being forced to play a match against Japan in which they were comprehensively beaten by the hosts.

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We wanted to help out in Normandy but we had bone spurs, explain Kurds

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As Donald Trump tries to justify abandoning long-standing allies, specifically those who did the brunt of the fighting in the US campaign against ISIS, the Kurdish authorities have tried to change his mind by explaining they were plagued by painful bone spurs during World War 2.

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Turkey starts bombing Kurds because f*ck you that’s why

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Turkey has commenced airstrikes against anybody they damn well please in Syria because fuck you, they have confirmed today.

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Coleen Rooney, PI to head up Donald Trump impeachment investigation

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US Democrats have reached out to leading private investigator Coleen Rooney to head up their impeachment enquiry into Donald Trump.

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Special Relationship triumph as US extends middle finger of friendship over hit-and-run driver

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The famous Special Relationship, that is the cornerstone of Boris Johnson’s post-Brexit trade policy, once again proved its worth as the US State Department penned a lovely letter telling Northamptonshire police it could ‘go fuck itself’ over lifting the immunity of a diplomat’s wife who allegedly killed a British teenager.

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Britain sucking up to Donald Trump finally pays off as Scotch Whisky gets its very own US tariff

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Donald Trump built trust in his promise, that he would deliver a great deal to a post-Brexit Britain, after Scottish Single Malts were selected to be made even more exclusive in America, thanks to a 25% import tariff, whereas French Cognac and Irish Whiskey were completely left out of this special treatment.

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Outrage as Katarina Johnson-Thompson only gets one medal

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There was shock and outrage as it was revealed that, despite being brilliant at seven different sports, Katarina Johnson-Thompson was only awarded one medal.

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