Putin’s masterful battlefield tacticians have at long last been able to celebrate a victory as they settled into the smouldering ruins of Zaporizhzhia nuclear power station and drank vodka while trying to ignore their nausea and bleeding gums.
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The miles-long convoy currently clogging up Ukraine’s main highway is a legitimate protest against vaccine mandates and masks, and attacks on it are a serious infringement of free speech, according to a statement issued by the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs today.
Street Fighter Zangief, who has spent his career striving to prove Russia’s superiority over the fighters of other nations, is now dying to piledrive that wanker Putin.
A Russian pigeon was executed by firing squad today (you’re gonna stretch this pun out to 150 words are you? Good luck! – ed)
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