World

Social Justice Batman lights the Virtue Signal

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Social Justice Batman has lit up the Virtue Signal, to let the inhabitants of Gotham know that they are being watched over by a dark, silent guardian who is just plain better than them.

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Far-right commentators keen to distance themselves from Christchurch shooter who shares every single one of their beliefs

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Commentators and personalities with far-right views on immigration and nationalism have been quick to distance themselves from the Christchurch shooter who appears to have believed absolutely everything they have ever said.

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Flags with dragons on ‘just cooler’, confirms science

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Flags with dragons on make all those other flags with crissed crosses and boring stripes of colour look a pile of pants, according to a new study released today.

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Donald Trump insists friendship remains strong despite collapse of Trump-Vader summit

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Donald Trump’s meeting with Lord Vader came to an abrupt end after both sides were said to be ‘far apart’ in a deal to disarm the Death Star.

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Trump-Kim talks break down over who has the best hair regimen

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Donald Trump has returned to the United States after talks with Kim Jong-un broke down over their inability to agree who has the best hair regimen.

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Trump hails deal with Kim Jong-un for North Korea to stop building nuclear weapons in return for being allowed to build nuclear weapons

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Following the summit in Vietnam, actual President of the United States Donald Trump has announced a historic deal to halt North Korea’s nuclear weapons programme.

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Michael Cohen leaves Congress shocked with revelation that Donald Trump cheats at Monopoly

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Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer has stunned Congress by revealing that Trump is well-known for cheating at Monopoly.

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Donald Trump asks why anyone would go to war over Cashmere

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Super-intelligent US President, Donald Trump, is today wondering why there is so much fuss over a bit of cashmere.

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Cardinals disappointed as Pope’s ‘sex abuse summit’ features very little sex abuse

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Following the Pope’s special ‘sex abuse summit’ over the weekend, reports are emerging that many cardinals and bishops were left disappointed by the amount of sex abuse made available to them.

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Olivia Colman’s rabbit to get additional security after Glenn Close misses out on another Oscar

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Olivia Colman’s pet rabbit “Bobtail” is under twenty-four-hour armed police guard after the British star beat American rival, Glenn Close, to the Best Actress award.

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