World

Isis goes into mourning for their true founder, Don al-Drumsfeld

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The man who did more than anyone else to create the Islamic State terror group, Don al-Drumsfeld, has passed into paradise to claim his free virgins and infinite bowl of fruit, a spokesmullah for the group has regretfully announced.

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Disgraced conman and ex-lawyer to head up new HBO series, ‘Better Call Rudy’

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Disgraced ex-lawyer Rudy Giuliani will dispense legal advice to criminals from the back of a beat-up old car in HBO’s forthcoming series ‘Better call Rudy’.

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Friends reunion reveals entire series ‘a hallucination inside the drug-addled mind of Gunther’

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The much-anticipated Friends Reunion has shocked fans by revealing that the entire 10-season run was actually a hallucination inside the drug-addled mind of the comatose coffee shop owner, Gunther.

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Disappointed Lukashenko can’t understand why hijacking airliner to abduct journalist hasn’t made people stop calling him a dangerous tyrant

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After a day of negative press coverage, Belarusian president Alexander Lukashenko has been left wondering how many more foreign planes he has to illegally detain and how many critics he has to kidnap before people stop saying he’s a touchy despot with no respect for international law.

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Ryanair passengers charged ‘hijack fee’ after flight is forced to land in Belarus

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Passengers aboard a Ryanair flight bound for Lithuania that was forced by a fighter jet to land in Belarus have been charged extra for the privilege, it has emerged.

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Israel agrees to ceasefire after finally running out of stuff to bomb

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Israel has agreed to a temporary halt to hostilities with Palestine after confirming that it has run out of things to bomb.

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Israel insists it has right to defend itself after destroying building that was source of damning TripAdvisor review

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Israel has defended its bombing of an entire building in Palestine, insisting it was entirely proportionate given the building was the source of a completely unprovoked and highly damning TripAdvisor review on the state of Israel.

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James Corden signs new 5-year contract with TV bosses to host absolutely-every-f*cking-thing

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James Corden has signed a lucrative new five-year contract with TV bosses in the US, to host every fucking thing on television.

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Nigel Farage praised for observing social distancing after addressing just 14 people in a 2,000 seater venue

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Nigel Farage has been lauded for his strict adherence to social distancing, after selling out a 2,000+ seater venue and then talking to only fourteen people.

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Joe Biden sternly warns Israel that if they don’t stop bombing Gaza they won’t get to choose the interior trim of their free Apache helicopters

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As international condemnation of Israel’s onslaught on Gaza increases, Joe Biden has told Israel’s Netanyahu that if the attacks on civilian targets don’t stop, then the US will not hesitate to send him attack helicopters with the cheap default trim and no heated pilot seats.

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