World

Russian government making list of lovely cathedrals in Siberia to explain Navalny poisoning

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As German doctors tried to save the life of Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, the Kremlin has been put under strong international pressure to find a religious landmark its agents could claim to be visiting around the same time Putin’s rival was poisoned.

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US Police announce plan to eradicate racism by killing all the black people

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The US police have announced a bold new initiative to eradicate racism in America by killing all the black people.

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Western governments horrified by latest Russian poisoning which they will do nothing about

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Everyone from every government which isn’t Russian has expressed their horror at the latest poisoning of someone who opposes the Russian regime, which they will forget about in a week or two having done nothing about it.

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Donald Trump calls for tighter soup controls

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President Trump has called for a tightening of the rules surrounding the constitutional right of Americans to purchase, carry and bear soup.

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Morrissey confirms he’s fine with Donald Trump using his music for rallies

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Indie Dads’ favourite racist singer-songwriter Morrissey has made it clear that he is fine with Donald Trump using his music for rallies.

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Donald Trump announces second-term policy to gather all six Infinity Stones

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Donald Trump has used his keynote speech at the Republican convention to reveal that his major second-term policy will be the gathering of all of the six Infinity Stones.

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“Biden would see violence on the streets the likes of which we haven’t seen in nearly three days” declares Trump

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President Trump has warned that Joe Biden might cause even more havoc than he has.

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When I get to $300bn I will let my warehouse employees have hassle-free toilet breaks, insists Jeff Bezos

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Amazon boss Jeff Bezos has celebrated becoming the first man to be worth $200bn by telling everyone that he is now just $100bn away from having enough money that his employees will be free to take a piss without the immediate pressure of returning to work.

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Former Aussie PM Tony Abbott fails to pass UK’s new Aussie-style points-based immigration system

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Former Australian PM Tony Abbott will not be able to get a job as the UK’s trade envoy, after he failed to pass the Australian style points-based system of immigration, it has emerged.

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Doctors who claim Russian opposition leader was ‘probably poisoned’ also insist that Pope is ‘probably Catholic’

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The doctors treating Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, who nearly died due to ingesting a mysterious toxic substance, say they now believe that he was “probably poisoned”.

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