Experts rate “I’m not bluffing” as the number one indicator of people who are definitely not bluffing
Experts have this morning agreed that anyone who says “I’m not bluffing” is definitely not bluffing.
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We can’t release the economic forecast because people will become too euphoric and overly excited, insists new Chancellor
Kwasi Kwarteng has refused to let the Office for Budget Responsibility release an economic forecast alongside Friday’s mini-budget, insisting it will be hard for people to concentrate on their jobs if they hear about how brilliantly everything is going.
‘A 7% pay rise for striking workers would put too much pressure on inflation’, insists government about to let bankers receive bonuses of more than double their salary
Liz Truss has said she is happy to make the difficult decision to remove the cap on bankers’ bonuses, leading to a nationwide sigh of relief that she must have finally found a solution to the country’s inflation problem.
Huw Edwards has black suit surgically removed
BBC newsreader Huw Edwards needs surgery to remove his black suit after discovering he’s physically unable to take it off.
