Newcastle United’s players will adorn high-leg crotchless shorts for the 2017/18 season, after Mike Ashley’s Sports Direct look to take over ailing lingerie firm Agent Provocateur.
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Facebook parents across the country have spent the morning frantically searching for the most flattering part of their home in which to photograph their children wearing their World Book Day costumes.
A man asked if he packed his bag himself before boarding his flight is suddenly worried he might have packed a bomb and some heroin by mistake.
Eleven rubbish dwellings have applied for Britain’s ultimate pity-trophy.
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