UK

Theresa May accidentally triggers Article 51, meaning all EU citizens must wear a hat

There was embarrassment at Number 10 today after it was revealed that, instead of triggering Article 50 that would begin the process of Great Britain leaving the EU, Theresa May had accidentally triggered Article 51, meaning everyone has to wear a hat.

Cunning EU bureaucrats working late into night to change Article 50 into Article 49

Brexit will be foiled by cunning EU bureaucrats with a brilliant plan, according to sources this evening.

‘Hidden feature’ of new pound coin revealed to be that it’s now only worth 82p

The Royal Mint has ended speculation about the ‘hidden feature’ of the new pound coin by revealing that it’s the fact that since the Brexit referendum it’s now only worth 82p.

UK

“BREX-TITS!” screams Daily Mail

“BREX-TITS” according to the Daily Mail this morning.

Microsoft unveil Xbox release date for ‘Nadine Dorries: Dereliction of Duty’

Football fans unsure how to feel about racist on racist violence

Abu Qatada escapes deportation as Ryanair flight declared infringement of ‘human rights’

UK

Newsnight builds on wave of publicity with Wembley Stadium Live Roadshow

BBC must restore public trust, insist people who the public don’t trust

Newsnight used ‘Guess Who?’ game to reveal potential Tory paedophiles

BBC resignation precedent could see tabloid industry decimated by Friday

Gay witches in hiding

Government to host illegal immigrant amnesty interviews in France

Rockstar Games announce Gay Witch Hunt for PS3 and Xbox360

Oil giant hires former archbishop as new global head of marketing

BBC feared alien ‘first contact’ might include a swear word

Cameron trialling app to aid government U-turns

Bradley Wiggins crashes bike in bid to avoid Chris Evans show

Gordon Brown to revive career by entering ‘Touch the Truck’ reality show

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