Jeremy Corbyn declines open goal
Jeremy Corbyn has declined a televised shot on goal unless Theresa May is there to have a go at saving it.
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Children of vegetarians ‘overjoyed’ as UK suffers hummus shortage
The offspring of the UK’s vegetarian population are celebrating across the nation today, after it emerged that several supermarkets have withdrawn some of their ranges of the congealed, pulse-based ‘food’ hummus, following a production issue.
Ministry of Magic criticises Boris Johnson for calling Jeremy Corbyn a ‘muggle’
“I meant to call him a squib”, insists Johnson.
‘Bland, inoffensive yet meaningless slogan,’ says Theresa May
Prime Minister Theresa May rallied her supporters with the rousing words ‘bland, inoffensive yet meaningless slogan.’
