Shockwaves have been felt through religious circles today as new allegations emerged against God himself, with suggestions he impregnated a young virgin who was married to another man.
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Simon Cowell shocked morons everywhere last night by dramatically securing his fourteenth successive victory in ITV’s X Factor.
Having failed to reach an agreement with the Irish government over the issue of a post-Brexit hard border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, Theresa May has stressed that it shouldn’t be a problem, as the two countries have always got on fine anyway.
Several tons of potatoes isn’t the only thing you can pull in a tractor, the nation’s farmers have confirmed.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
