Burkas and other Islamic face coverings are extremely offensive and should be banned from civilised society, according to a man who spends hours of his life on the Internet defending his right to be offensive to whoever he chooses.
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The Queen and her family are being packed into boxes to help save the nation.
An older man is wistfully reflecting on a time in his life when politicians won elections by acting like decent human beings trying to do the right thing for everyone.
Simon, a neutered tabby from Brighton, has recently decided that there is no better wake-up call than rubbing his unwashed arsehole on the faces of the Williams family members who provide for him.
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