A man opening his third chocolate orange of the day has insisted today that he just needs to get everything out of the house by New Year.
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The title of ‘Andrew, the pizza-loving sex offender’ has finally passed from Prince Andrew to the next in line following the arrest of Andrew Tate in Romania.
The government has anounced that it is refusing to release economic assessments of its new Brexit trade deals, purely because they are worried people will get too excited when they realise how brilliant they are going to be.
Santa Claus is working with a top PR London firm to explain to children everywhere why he gives the best gifts to rich children.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
