Theresa May has spoken of her outrage after an effigy of Grenfell Tower was burned on a bonfire, seemingly unaware that her promise to house all victims in three weeks is now seventy weeks overdue.
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Victoria Beckham has bought up all of the tickets for the Spice Girls reunion and fed them through a shredder.
The Spice Girls will reform in 2019 for a stadium tour of the UK and David Beckham is still holding out hope that his wife will join them.
The prime minister has encouraged communities to return to the Guy Fawkes Day tradition of lighting a huge fire, but topping it with a benefit claimant instead.
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