Post-Brexit pancakes to be made of sawdust and glue
People are planning to spend Shrove Tuesday indulging themselves with sweet pancake-based treats before starving for the next forty years due to the lack of appropriate ingredients.
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Rich, privileged, bubble-wrapped tosspots definitely know how to stop knife crime
The Conservatives reckon they’ve got a good bead on solving knife crime.
Sadiq Khan under fire for eating a Kit Kat while crime goes on in Europe’s biggest city
The Mayor of London has come under intense criticism from the tabloid press for enjoying some things in life like holidays, cheap confectionery or smiling while the city under his authority is still imperfect.
Tories pledge to tackle knife crime by occasionally being a bit cross about it
The government has pledged to tackle the increasing epidemic of knife crime by occasionally having one of their ministers appear on the news being a bit cross about it.
