Britons finding excuses to hang round in the supermarket freezer aisle
People are finding any excuse to linger in the supermarket freezer aisle for up to several hours at a time, according to reports today.
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Mark Francois still waiting by the phone
Britain’s greatest soldier is adamant that there’s been some sort of administrative delay and that his invitation to join the cabinet as Minister for Bravery is coming and it’s just a remainer plot to keep him out and he’s not crying so shut up.
Britain to repeat its Brexit offer loudly and slowly until the foreigners get it
In dramatic scenes today, the Conservative Party has voted for Boris Johnson to return to Brussels and repeat the same offer loudly and slowly until the foreigners get it.
Being on fire no excuse for missing work, confirm HR departments
As much of the country is set to be on fire today, many people will be looking to work from home or possibly be even excused from work.
