Jennifer Arcuri, a woman that makes British men of a certain age think of Razzle, has been left flabbergasted that the lardy toff who committed adultery with her, in a sordid affair involving embezzlement and stripper poles, turned out to be an unreliable shit.
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In an attempt to outflank spending pledges by Tory and Labour candidates in the run-up to the general election, Lib Dem leader Jo Swinson has promised every voter the moon on a stick, should the Lib Dems be returned to power on 12th December.
A chippie in Lancaster saw the creation of a huge queue and staff forced to work round the clock after the Labour leader ordered a small chips and battered veggie sausage but steadfastly refused to give a clear answer when asked if he wanted his chips seasoned.
Friday night saw Children in Need raise an incredible £47.9m, which is almost half the amount Boris wasted on a vainglorious ad campaign for a Brexit deadline he knew he couldn’t achieve.
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