Brexit Party chief executive Nigel Farage has insisted he will not be standing at the forthcoming general election, insisting that losing seven general elections is probably enough for anyone.
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The Downing Street laundry will be working late tonight in order to clean the catastrophically beshitted underpants of Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
Prime minister Boris Johnson has confirmed that he will not take part in Movember to raise awareness of testicular cancer despite a successful September and October in which he massively heightened awareness that he’s an inept cock.
Political analysts have insisted all predictions must go out of the window and the general election is now all to play for after a Workington man insisted he would be voting for the Monster Raving Loony Party.
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