UK

“I admire them, but I wouldn’t want to spend eternity with Brexiters” insists Satan

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Following European Council President Donald Tusks comment that there is a “special place in hell” for “those who promoted Brexit without even a sketch of a plan of how to carry it safely”, Satan has responded by saying they are not welcome in Hell.

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Adventurer parents to hold Alignment Reveal party for their new baby

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Thrognar the Barbarian and Symbellia the Sorceress are inviting friends to a party where they will reveal the alignment of their newborn child, they have announced.

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“Special place in Hell for Brexiteers” turns out to be Milton Keynes

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The people who campaigned for Brexit but with no plan how to execute it will be sent to Milton Keynes when they die, according to reports this afternoon.

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Joy on the streets of Belfast as Theresa May’s speech resolves centuries of sectarian conflict

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Northern Ireland was the scene of many impromptu celebrations as popular Prime Minister Theresa May gave her reliable word that nothing would change despite her party tossing the Good Friday Agreement under a bus for Brexit.

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Crack team of Brexiters to annex Ireland and rename it West Hampshire

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A crack team of Brexiters have decided to take radical action to eliminate difficulties surrounding the backstop by annexing Ireland and renaming it West Hampshire.

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Honesty no longer the best policy, confirms Liam Neeson

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Explaining that you did something you’re not proud of in an honest an open manner is definitely not the best policy, according to Liam Neeson today.

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Millennials the last generation to suffer horror of buying rubber johnnies from a human

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The horrifying art of looking a cashier in the eye as they scan through a packet of three condoms is set to die with the millennials.

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People traffickers, gun runners and drug lords all delighted at news that UK ports will ‘wave through’ goods after Brexit no-deal

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Brexiter claims that Brexit will take back control of our borders has been given a huge boost after the announcement by tax chiefs that UK borders will be flung wide open without checks in the event of a no-deal Brexit.

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Eurocrats reject UK’s perfectly feasible proposition to monitor Irish border with Dementors

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EU commissars, all of them foreign, have cast aspersions on Britain’s pragmatic solution to avoid a hard border in Ireland by using a combination of tracking software and ethereal Dementor border agents.

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Queen to avoid Brexit chaos by applying for German passport

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The Queen will be applying for a German passport in order to avoid the potentially harmful consequences of a ‘no-deal’ Brexit according to a Buckingham Palace spokesman.

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