British people secretly loving all this queuing
British people are secretly getting a powerful erotic charge from lengthy queues outside supermarkets and petrol stations, it has emerged.
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Boris Johnson finally writes to his own children
By writing to everyone in the country the Prime Minister is reaching out to his various offspring in a way he never has before.
Stoner surprised to learn Britain is on lockdown
Stoner Simon Williams was shocked to learn today that he’s been doing exactly what the government want by sitting on the sofa watching Netflix solidly for the last two weeks.
People rejoicing at Tory ministers getting sick reminded that it can only happen for so long before Mark Francois becomes PM
The government has explained that, if enough Tory MPs get incapacitated, the reins of the country could very well end up in the hands of a xenophobic potato who thinks he deserves a remembrance day all to himself, so maybe you should lay off the online snark.
